so sian... time is runnin so fast tt i cannot catch it... lol... super sian... my frens mostly all got e plan of their future... onli i am still lost... dunnoe how la... workin de workin, studyin de studyin... wad shd i do sia... i dun tink i can work 4 yrs n yrs in e same company, doin e same thing everydae ba... i will get crazy... but... aiyo... dunnoe how la... if dun work means go study... but i cannot study until i die ma... so sian...

i juz wan to emo... continues emo... lol... let emo tgt la...

so sian... suddenly realise smth... ytd dunnoe y no matter how oso cannot slp lor... my brain dunnoe y keep suddenly tinkin of many things which i dun wan to tink abt de lor... e end cry 4 2 hrs then can fall aslp... reali omg... maybe coz ytd is tues ba... n i forgot ytd mid nite n todae is 19 mar lor.... so happy 8th month anniversary ba... haiz..........

let me emo at hm la... so sian lor... my attachment onli get B+... although i expect get B+ onli lor, coz i nv do well in my presentation... but i still feel veri sad, wan cry lor... haiz...

dunnoe how leh... so disappointed to myself lor... i reali got try n do veri well lor... got work hard durin attachment... got complete n sent my elog on time... got complete e report properly... somemore i am e firx among our 4 start e report lor, n e firx to finish... i spent 1 month+ to do de lor... i oso got try my best to do e ppt slides... n i onli slp 4 a few hrs lor, coz to prepare 4 my speech... i reali got tryin veri hard to do it de lor... but e end i onli get B+... i nv fulfill wad i had promise lor... super disappointed already lor... feel like is e onli thing i can do de lor, n i nv do wad i promise... n i wun have 2nd chance already lor... e feelin is damn bad de lor... i noe if compare to others my result is still consider as good de lor, but i reali veri sad abt i nv do wad i had promised to do lor...

i wan emo lor... so sian... so sad...

i wan cry sia... so sian... i finish readin p.s i love u... reali earn smth after readin it... but i feel sian oso... i oso wan to tok to parents, frens, anyone or everyone... but i dun have chances... n i not brave enough to tok abt anything or everything... i dunnoe y i muz hide hide hide... i reali wan hide until e end of the world ma?? or e end of my life... i am so sian... so tired... is so hard to slp properly without cryin... i hate cryin till i fall aslp... haiz... i shd be as ok as wad i thought ma... y i still lidat... haiz...

i wan to continues emo... until e end of the world... lol...

i wan emo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz... i reali feel like i wan emo, stay at hm dun wan go out la... i dun wan go co la... coz so horrible... last wk durin combine is like all e way lookin at him 4 e 3hrs practice... coz i sit next to xinger, e place tt i can clearly see his face juz opposite me... haiz... so i hate practice... so sian... but anywae although 200% dun wan go, i oso got try to pon sectional.... but e end wed still kanna lor, they all FORCE me go lor... but this time i nv sit next to xinger anymore... i sit next to shiying n eunice... feel like another horrible section 4 me... sian... coz suona de sound is sooooo close to me... my brain cannot stop tinkin... i reali abit wan cry in between practice... i tink i reali look sad tt time lor... then end of practice, laoshi like not purposely lor, but juz like stand behind me, n smile to me wif e expression tt i dun wan to see n without saein anything... haiz... i reali feel tt i dun like go practice la... haiz...

i tink i reali did smth stupid... i shd not go buy p.s. i love u n go read... omg... is like so sian now... keep on tinkin many impossible thing... i noe i am stupid some way la, but firxly i reali feel tt from this book i can get smth which will help me recover....

i nid a TOK!!! deep tok... i dun wan to hide here n dere, i keep hidin away from all tt... i tink now i shd face it ba... haiz.... i wan DEEP TOK!!!! can someone juz come n find me tok... haiz...

I WAN EMO DUN WAN GO CO!!!! lol...

i hate tues nite... i feel veri uncomfortable on tues nite... i oso wan slp, but i cannot... i wan find thing to do so tt wun tink too much or wad... but i cannot find anything to do to disturb my mind... i veri sian... super sian... i dunnoe wad i shd do lor... haiz... n i wan cry sia... sian... veri long dun feel like cryin already lor... so tt'y i hate tues... i reali got many not sure recently, i dunnoe wad i tinkin of, wad i worryin of!!!! but reali veri troublesome 4 me... i feel unstable, uncomfortable... i dunnoe wad happen la, but juz feel lidat... sian...

reali wan to ask 4 help!!!!! but hu can help me if i cannot recover on myself... haiz... i dunnoe how la... i feel weird when i enter co room... i feel sad when i saw e newspaper on e floor... i thought goin back co is juz a normal thing lor, but i tink i reali nid power to do so... sian lor... i cannot imagine i goin to have combine without......................................................... i got tink abt many possiblities of wad i will do durin combine... am i strong enough to get along wif everything?? i reali not sure... sian lor... i ming ming ok wif everything already wad, y muz someone or something juz keep on mention n remindin me wad had happened?? i reali cannot hide away from it ma?? y muz be lidat to me, is reali enough 4 me la, i cannot take it more anymore la...

i am tired... i reali veri tired... i cannot slp again... i cannot fall aslp in e nite, a silence n quiet nite... i am sick of all these... but wad i can do... i scare of silence, i scare of being alone, i scare of alot of things... i noe i am not alone in anytime, but i am scare... real life is so horrible, n i cannot n will not run away from it... can someone juz come n help me?????? if i continues like this, i tink i will fall sick... or izit i nv try to help myself?? i juz let myself to fall all e way until i reach e bottom... where no one can save me................

i actuali oso dunnoe wad i tinkin n wad i doin... but dae n dae pass by... i found tt hard to fall aslp... dunnoe y leh... ytd i 5am then can fall aslp... omg... horrible lor... tryin to make myself busy, so tt can feel tired then easy to fall aslp... haiz...

i feel like he is alwaes be wif me, izit?? i oso not sure lor... instead of feelin n knowin tt he is dead, i reali got e feelin tt he is juz dunnoe go where, so nv see onli lor... izit weird?? i onli dunnoe la... but normali most of my fren oso seldom mention about him... i oso dunnoe la... feel funny about my feelin...

haiz... i feel like i am livin in my dream, i try to build a world 4 myself, without those hurtin things... try to live inside protectin myself from being hurt, n tryin to run away from e real world.. funny, rite?? i oso dunnoe la... when ppl tok abt him or link to thing tt will make me tink of him, like pushin me go back to e real world... tt feelin reali veri bad.... i oso dunnoe how to be wif it... i tink i reali havin some probs on it... i dunnoe how la...

i am bored... although this week is so full... keep on goin out... hahahaa... but... i am still sian n bored... so plz date me out... i miss mj... lol... haiz...

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NAME
aNgeL wanyi
Libra 6th oct
NYP cpt-0507
Email yyuenyyee@hotmail.com

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EMO seldomly.
OUTIN alwaes.
GATHERIN oftenly.
INDEPENDENT at-all-time.